He has had and continues to have a most interesting life. He is a real person, a long-time Hollywood character actor will more than 200 movie credits to his name. He played the role so convincingly, I really thought he was a real guy. He is hands down my favorite actor in a commercial EVER. In publicity materials, this fictional story (despite misleading end notes suggesting otherwise) is coyly described as “a captivity fantasy.By “Most Interesting Man in the World” I am referring to actor Jonathan Goldsmith who played him for years in the Dos Equis commercials. Thankfully, I mostly missed the sight of them stumbling to bed accompanied by the swelling strains of “Swan Lake” - my eyes had already rolled too far back in my head.Įxhibiting the emotional range of house plants, the cast members plod through dialogue so lifeless that you feel sorry for their tongues. Tethered by an explosive necklace (primed to detonate if he breaches the perimeter of April’s property), Zack spends the remainder of the film playing dress-up and scrubbing floors while encased in anatomy-flaunting spandex. Plunkett), a bland 14-year-old whose much-vaunted martial-arts moves lie dormant during one of the least convincing abduction scenes ever filmed. Recently returned from a demolitions job in Iraq, April is a 20-something hottie who nursed a drunken stepfather into the grave after dutifully absorbing his survival skills and militarized view of the world. Relentlessly creepy - and not in a good way - this foot-dragging drama from Rick Lancaster (who also wrote the screenplay with his producer, Stephen McClellan Ryder) can’t decide whether to leer or sniff at the antics of April (Brett Helsham), its disturbed centerpiece. With a script that appears pilfered from the reject pile of “Law & Order: SVU” and a cast that belongs anywhere but in front of a camera, “The Abduction of Zack Butterfield” is a cringingly awkward tale of sexual predation and female lunacy.
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December 2022
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